Thursday, 11 March 2010

Interview With Myself

I found the idea for conducting and interview with myself at The Art of Non-Conformity, and I thought it was a good one, if a little egocentric (but is that always a bad thing? I don't think so). Now is a good time to be interviewing myself, so I hope you'll allow me this indulgence, and allow yourself the same indulgence, if you feel it would be useful!

What’s next, self?

Good question! I suppose the situation I’ve always seen as ‘the adult world’ is what’s coming next. Career, rent, tax, study-free weekends…and I feel for the first time that I might actually be ready for it. I’m hoping to stay in York, but I’m open to excitement, disarray and change in direction. However, I haven’t lived in the same place for more than 12 months since I was 18; I would absolutely love to feel secure, still and at home. So, the next step is uncertain, but I’m excited for it, whether it be complete change or a steady orientation in the direction I’m going right now.

Why do you do the things you do every day?

Because I love to do them. Sitting at my table studying last night, I was struck by my love for my degree; the way I felt towards learning upon starting my course is still here with me, and I’m thirsty to understand more and more. I sit in my seminar, the only MA student in a group of two PhD students and two of the world's leading academics in my field (and two of my biggest inspirations). They listen to me, they take my ideas seriously (sometimes they even write them down!) and they support me in the elements of development which interest me the most. I’ve arrived somewhere really amazing, and I feel pretty privileged to be there! This love for what I do stands for many of the other things too, from seeing friends to eating porridge; there’s nothing in my every day life that I would wish away.

What do you really believe in?

Myself - on a non-spiritual level, obviously! I feel that I have the power to do and be what I want, and no one is holding me back, or pushing me forward, but myself.

Where do you find your security?

In my family, Daniel and hot drinks.

What bothers you, and what are you doing about it?

Right now my knee bothers me. I hate to be held back from what I love to do. The only thing I can do is rest it, but I am learning, very quickly, that I need to listen to my body when it calls! I’m trying to develop a better awareness of my body; to know how and when to give it what it needs. I’ve started doing yoga most days, and have stopped drinking habitually. Though I never drank large quantities of alcohol, I felt I was drinking just because I was in the pub, or just because it was Friday night; now I only drink when I actually feel the will to drink, and consequently, I’ve hardly drunk anything at all for weeks!

What worries you?

Honestly, this minute, the only worry I can find inside me to answer this question with is that the future holds so much, and I’m worried that I won’t take up amazing opportunities, or will choose the wrong set of opportunities, and will regret missing out on something amazing. That’s not a worry really, is it? (Oh, and I’m worried that my knee won’t fix in time, but that would be getting a bit repetitive!)

If you had one year left to live, how would you spend it?

No differently from how I’m living now. Except I’d climb mountains rather than write essays, drink more hot chocolate, and bake until there was a national flour shortage.

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