Monday, 12 October 2009
Subdued for a while, this massive twist of emotions that was recently my prototype has come back to overwhelm me and excite me, to temporarily lock me up inside myself and have me put up a massively pleasurable fight to get out. My fingertips are buzzing with emotional sensitivity; every extremity in my body is pulling me in it's own direction, urging me to get out and feel everything, enjoy everything, jump in leaves and shout for nothing, feel the autumn chill on my bare arms and the uncomfortable moisture from too much wool. I'm ready to be overcome by it all again: to do too much and feel too much, give not quite my everything to all my past intentions, and give more than what I have to new ventures I discover on the way. I'm ready to be everywhere all at once, the routine of no real routine or sleep pattern taking over me and pulling me down until I surrender. Ticking off long to-do lists that are never fully done, causing my tidy life to fall into disarray, and the joy of allowing it to do so.