Friday, 19 March 2010


When you write a blog, it's easy to pick and choose parts of life; to make readers believe that the sun is always shining, that the days are always packed with creativity and adventure, and that life really is perfect on this side of Blogland. It goes without saying that the photos taken at the wrong angle, involving double chins, spots and bloatedness aren't published, and so I allow myself to appear at my best all of the time.

Well of course, this image that I am so easily able to present of myself and my life is very much one-sided. As honest as it is, it is not the whole story, and implying that it is would seem dishonest, a sort of air-brushing of myself, a denial of my world in its entirety, warts and all. (Actually I don't have any warts, but I do have slight bunions on both feet...urgh)

I don't think that many people read blogs out of curiosity for the banal, ugly, or unhappy parts of life, everyone has enough of that in their own lives to not want to bother with it too deeply elsewhere. But that being said, I admire people who are honest in their writing, feeling honesty in what I read is paramount to my reading it, and I feel that by denying the glum, dark and difficult part of myself would be dishonest and thus hypocritical.

When I was young, I felt that I was required to be happy, healthy and interested in life all of the time. I don't know where this came from; when I confessed to my Mum that I used to be unable to admit feeling ill to my childminder as a child, she actually cried - it certainly wasn't an expectation stemming from her. Even now, I struggle to admit to those who aren't closest to me that I'm any less than 'great, thanks!', making for large releases of unhappiness when I finally am able to tell someone that actually, everything is simply a mess.

So, I intend to write a bit more about the other side of myself every now and then. Partly because I think I'd find it helpful to write, partly because I don't want to paint myself as an unexhaustively joyful person all of the time, and mostly because this blog is about me and my life, and whether people read it or not, it is my little account of myself, and I enjoy looking back over old posts and seeing how I interpreted certain things at certain times; what might be one thing to be one day can be something else a few weeks later, and these interpretations are helpful when it comes to dealing with some aspects of life.

A bit of my less-sunshiney self; themes which could be important to many people, involve body-image and lack thereof, some chronic stomach problems, relationships gone mad and general teenager agony. All of these things come up regularly in my general life, and so they feel relevant to write about on here. Maybe I'll even include some unflattering photos to keep up the theme of realism ;-)


  1. I do agree that we don't read blogs for the "other side" of people's lives, and I think every single one of us is more able to post about the positive. But I believe in balance, and we all have bad days, bad weeks, bad months even. And that's OK. So good on ya for recognising that and being brave enough to post about it.

  2. Its hard to be honest but sometimes we have to have lows otherwise there would be no high points.

  3. It's so true. On a blog we can edit out the bits we don't want tot think about or share, but life is full of the other stuff too!
    Things here at home got to the point recently with my extended family that I needed to get all the thoughts out of my head and so blogging about it seemed the way to go. It was a bit strange typing out all that negativity instead of nice stuff about the park and cakes but it was very theraputic!
    Hope you find it works for you.
    Lisa x

  4. this is so incredible honest and so very true!! i admire you for writing about the good bad and the ugly! and i'm excited to learn about your whole life even if it is a little less sinshiney. we all have those days.

  5. can i just say i fell in love with you even more? I try so hard to do that ... in fact when i started to blog, it was through a big life/heart change and it was healing to me... and i thought someday someone just as lost as i was may stumble upon this particular post and think... oh god I'm here. How did her life turn out? and they will find that i found happiness again, even though I didn't think it was possible.

    i can't wait to read more about you. I like you loads already but to really get to know someone... is get to know their faults too. Cos sometimes some blogs leave me thinking, oh it's pretty to look at but where's the heart? the substance? the realness to your life? you can't be happy ALL the time can you?

    i admire blogs that admit faults/failures, along with the sunshine. I love raw emotion.

    and i love this post because it is exactly that.


  6. honesty is not easy. well, for me, anyway. I'm not a liar but to disclose all truths (Especially online) is really difficult for me. I've done a few posts where ive been COMPLETELY honest and i felt so vulnerable but like you, i just wanted people to be able to see that just because it seems i'm living the good life (which i am) I STILL have really bad days and regrets and fears ... i think it takes bravery (like cutting all your hair off) I salute you. haha. i could never. =D

    but i think you summed it up quite nicely as far as what people come to blogs for. They want the sunny side of the road usually but the cold hard honesty is so much more refreshing from time to time. =)

    I found your blog through MIcaela.

    you're a cute witty little thing .

    happy endings to you


  7. :-) Thanks everyone! Honestly, I feel like I owe readers honesty because everyone has always left such lovely comments and wishes and observations about my posts. I know that in being honest I'd potentially be opening myself up to cruel comments from unknown readers (sadly, I know of a few people who have had to put up with this), but I write only for myself and for the people who read my blog with kind eyes, so I reckon it's worth the risk :-)

  8. And hi Gina - nice to meet you!! :-)