Sunday, 27 February 2011
This weekend has mostly been about big, intense feeling. It's been a constant trip from one high to the next: I've needed the highs to pull myself away from a looming sense of being out of control. Sometimes we have to let ourselves just be, however many weaknesses we might be uncovering in the process.
Loosening my spirit and conversation to the steady flow of alcohol,
Stumbling home in the rain - a haze of dizziness and nausea, cereal in the early hours to dampen the blow,
Waking to the "I'm never drinking again" clichée: a couple of hours I'll never get back,
Running through it anyway, a hazy mist of rain and a churning stomach,
Racing myself and failing again, but victorious in the discovery that you can actually run off a hangover!
Figs and strong cheese, accompanied by the unveiling of my first chutney,
A particularly wonderful film and Hobnobs dipped in hot chocolate,
Waking up too early but hiding away from the day anyway,
Heading off on the bike for a speedy hour away from real life, blustering headwinds deafening and exhausting,
Wind burn, exhaustion, scrambled eggs and spaghetti hoops,
Curling up on the couch indulging in my gloom,
Soup simmering on the hob and a BBC drama to enjoy. Wishing Sunday wouldn't stop quite so soon.