Yoga has been a big part of my life, for the most part my daily life, for almost four years now. The majority of that time hasn't involved a class; just me, a yoga mp3 or video, and my yoga mat. I love the freedom of practising when I want, when I feel like it, and though I would love to attend a class once a week, I'm still in search of that class that does yoga the way I love to do yoga. For now I'm happy with a variety of mp3s and videos to guide me through - if nothing else, the freedom suits my current lifestyle absolutely.
My current lifestyle is seriously in need of a regular yoga practise!
Since I started working, my yoga capabilities have changed so vastly. Luckily, so have my needs, and yoga is no longer just a way to complement my running and build up my strength; it has become a way to unravel my body from the day, uncoil my sore back and stretch myself back to who I want to be. Even Child's Pose can be difficult on some days, as my hips and groins don't want to give in. Finally when they start to let go I feel as if I'm melting away from the busyness and the exhaustion, and what used to be the 'easier' poses are now the most challenging and the most rewarding. Balancing just isn't an option: I wobble and I stress out and I give in just like that.
Today, for the first time in six months, I managed some super balancing in my practise. Actually, I managed to balance better than I've ever balanced before, coming into a full, strong Side Plank and holding it for a good few seconds for the first time ever.
The reason for today's super sense of concentration? I reckon it was because, at the start of my practise, I was worrying about one specific problem. A problem that has been on my mind all day long. Right at the start, while in Child's Pose I held on to this problem, held it tight and then let it melt away as my hips melted down towards the mat. For the first time in a long time, if not ever, I actually let it all go. Before letting it go, I had to grasp it, hold on and acknowledge it, and once i had a strong hold of it, I was in control, and I was able to let it float away into the evening.
So, today for the first time, my idea of yoga has evolved into what I always wanted it to become. It can be a way of letting go, of becoming one moment and one posture. I'm excited to experiment some more with this; excited to see where it might take me, and where it might let me take myself.