The thing is that I was about to explode with exhaustion. I was about to say 'hey, I need a break, I'm going to take a break' and unplug myself for a while. I was going to allow myself to be condemned to counting the days until I'm free of this incessant thing that, I've since realized, is actually just real life.
Then I took a walk.
I got off the train too early (a whole town too early) and I walked and walked. The morning frost was resting on top of the world, the air was still, passers-by greeted me and small countryside animals hurried away as I approached. It was wonderful, but what was more wonderful was the sense of freedom welling up inside of me. Time is always ours to choose: whether we walk or stay on a painfully slow train, whether we choose to enjoy time or choose to wish it away.
From now on, I choose my time. I choose to enjoy my job while I'm there, and to enjoy my time when I'm not there. To put care into preparing my packed lunches and my clothes for the following day. To make time for the things I love, even if it means breaking from my steadfast routine.
Today I got a different train. I got off two towns early and walked and walked. No headphones, only thoughts. I will leave my thoughts on headphones for another, less serene, day; for now I am celebrating the simple wonder that is thought.